Well it was just a theory....... Until they showed me the truth.....
However since I work at Kennedy Space Center and my job allows me to explore the darkest caverns (tunnels), forgotten buildings, launch towers, space shuttle and Apollo program abandoned hardware and converse with some of the best minds on the planet (if a little eccentric)
-----I had been getting hints; unwinding un-official rumors and darn if the facts (or some facsimile of facts)....and a Whole lot of speculation led me to form a theory that our blue planet of water and soil had in fact been visited by space going turkeys. Perhaps even yet the visits continued?
Just a theory....
Old spacestuff laying around: Shuttle EVA suit lost in an abandoned warehouse.
(Had a difficult time getting back out of it)
That pesky Hubble Telescope with all of the new data....
Some of the first indications of Space Turkeys were from the Hubble Telescope. Have to tell you, these photos have the space geeks abuzz with consternation.....and fear?
Then the Chandra Telescope was beaming disturbing images back to earth.....
It had been whispered to me that the Department of Defense had launched their own space telescope (bigger than the James Webb) and the images returned had been disturbing. Even aggressive.
Finally because I was getting close to the truth, I was taken to a cavern on Kennedy Space Center that I had never seen before.
The NASA engineer/scientist/guide/assassin? Asked "Do you know why this mosquito infested area of Florida was chosen for the Space Center?"
However before I could make a fool of myself....He flicked on the electric lights. There were, hundreds of Petroglyphs! Hundreds of turkey petroglyphs to be exact.
"Those are......." I stuttered, pointing at the three claw scratches that had an algorithmic pattern.
"Yep" agreed my guide "Our most powerful NASA computer is only now breaking the code--breaking the star pattern of where these creatures originate. The binary star system of Gob-bal-Gob-bal-Gob-bal"
"Please don't touch that!" he barked at me with a little too much anger. His face turning a bright shade of tomato red & puffing up.
Geez buddy relax I thought but removed my fingers from the sketch of a space ship?
Cave drawing of possible Turkey Space Ship? (Photo credit, maybe NASA)
Take away the barred wing paint job and the turkey space ship looked suspiciously similar to the USAF secret shuttle! What!
(Photo source: NASA)
We explored the hieroglyphic petroglyphs walking down a long corridor & I did not touch anything. My guide was still red and sort of puffed up making "Chuff" sounds.
War drawing on cave
"They are fighting!" I said admiring the drawings
"Seems to be the nature of the creatures. Best we can tell--their fight to be King never ceases. --And that is why we humans have to be afraid of their return" chuffed the guide.
"Are you okay? I asked trying not to look at his scraggly beard.
"They are coming back," he chirped still agitated.
A Gift of Flint
"What is this?" I asked, for the cave drawing seemed to show a turkey handing out a flint tool to a person. (or rather "beaking" out a flint tool)
"Yes," chuffed my guide, "Appears they armed earthlings to help in their civil wars for king."
Cave drawing: There will be war
"Did we help? I asked feeling suddenly queasy recalling my feather mattress.
"Certainly did," cackled the guide as he strutted about the cave "And in the wars that followed our ancestors learned these particular aliens were quite tasty. All of them strange feathered folk learned to regret arming us with sharp rocks."
"The young-ins also. We ate them before they hatched," he purred in a smooth whisper.
"That is a Central American motif-In Florida" I said overwhelmed at everything in the cave.
"Well some of the old folks worshiped these feathered Bumpheads," he sneered
The Hall of Kings....
We entered another chamber and suddenly the drawings were no longer chicken scratched on the cave wall but sealed & coated in some type of tryptophan like acrylic.
"Problem is they are returning-returning in full flock this time. This painting: The computer says is their squawk code that they are returning from their Gob-bal Gob-bal forsaken binary system," he kee-keeed.
"Good folks gotta be warned you see. That is why you are here. We know you cannot keep this secret."
He flipped on another electric light.
"We call this the Gallery of Kings and fair warning, better scientists have lost their bowels from fright in this hallway."
I stepped up to the first painting with some trepidation
"This here fellow was known as "Sharp spurs" & the computer seems to think he was quite the nasty character."
I lost my lunch.
"Sorry," I whined.
This is "Crooked-Beak-Sharp-knife, son of Sharp Spurs," explained my guide, pronouncing the words with a gobble-like lilt. Could he speak their language I wondered?
At the next portrait my knees became wobbly.
This is "Alpha the Usurper" said my guide with a snarl. "May an owl eat his poults."
"Prepare yourself" growled my guide, "Things get worse from this portrait."
I stopped opened mouthed. Off course I had seen the internet pictures of turkey tracks on the moon. But who trusts the net?
"Yep this is "Claws that Catch," or known to our ancestors as "Egg Smasher" According these scratches, Ol' Claw here was the first to visit our world. First to conquer."
It was at the last portrait where I felt as if I had ate two Thanksgiving dinners -with stuffing and gravy.
"Who is this?" I asked.
"This arrogant fellow was known as "Moon King" The computer translation say he fed his own kind to humans-if you can believe that."
"No, no one could be that savage," I mumbled suddenly craving cranberries.
"Yeah, well how often are NASA computers wrong?" he said smugly. "White or Dark meat?"
"What did you say?" at last taking my eyes from the disturbing portrait.
"Just computer talk son, none of your business"
We stepped out of the tunnel and I blinked to discover we had been under the VAB near the new 340' tall launch tower.
"We have to be ready. They are coming back," said the guide, his jowls wagging like a wattle as he handed me a USB full of photos. "Be Ready!"
And he strutted off, chest puffed out, red face going blue.
I was suddenly hungry again.
Photo on the USB. Title: "Wanderer"
Photo on the USB. Title: The Navigator.
(Fine print states "They are coming back")
Photos on the USB. Title: "Scarface"
I have yet to build up the courage to look at the remaining photographs. -Perhaps towards the end of November....?
Finally I understood the feather on the Blue Origin rocket. (Photo mine, from the Blue Origin building outside of the space center gate)
Return Home from Space Alien Turkeys page